Suze Orman on Oprah: Why I don't Watch Daytime TV

Yesterday afternoon I took my laptop into the bedroom between meetings and immediately regretted it. Emily was watching Oprah and Suze Ormanwas "counseling" couples who had gotten over their heads with consumer debt. I only saw one segment before I fled back to my office. The couple in question had $350,000 in debt, combined annual income of $140,000 and were expecting their first child. Of the 350k, 200k represented student loans, which they were struggling to repay. The rest was going towards their two Lexuses (Lexi? What is the plural form of Lexus?) (the guy referred to the car as "his baby" during the setup clip), a 900 DVD movie collection and a generally pimped out lifestyle. The collection agencies were calling all day, every day and these two had stopped picking up the phone.

Enter Suze Orman, the TV financial "expert." I've never seen Orman's daily show, but if her appearance on Oprah was indicative of the advice she usually gives, I fear for the financially uninformed viewers of the world. Here is a short summary of her "advice":
-"That car is your baby? No, that's your baby (points at wife's belly). That's your baby. That's your baby. That's... life(Oprah audience claps politely. Even they're not buying this crap)." Suze keeps ranting about the "baby" comment, and finally gets around to telling the guy to sell his cars, which he sheepishly admits he had already planned to do. No discussion of what car models or financing options might be more economical for a growing family.

-The DVD collection: "Get an iPod, copy the DVD's to the iPod. Sell the DVD's on ebay." Great idea Suze. Financial solvency through copyright infringement. When you purchase a movie or music album, you have a right to duplicate that media for private viewing on other mediums or for "backup" purposes. But once you sell the physical media, you can no longer claim ownership and any copies you made are considered pirated. Is the guy going to get busted for that type of infraction? No. Should a nationally syndicated financial advice guru be advocating movie piracy? Also no.

-Oprah promises that Suze will tell everyone how to do a personal financial checkup when she gets back from the break. Commercial break. Oprah comes back and sets up Suze to explain how to to the personal financial checkup. Suze promptly gets lost in the woods. "Oprah, you know that all the issues we've dealt with today are a result of trying to impress people we don't even know or like." No kidding, Suze? Have you met the average American lately. Of course we're trying to impress people we don't know. We are blasted hundreds of times a day with the idea that our car, house, clothes, computer, MP3 player and riding lawnmower must be better than our neighbor's. Blaming our cultural mindset for the uninhibited spending of the folks on the program is a cheap shot.

-Now Oprah appears peeved that Suze has still not gotten into this financial checkup thing and prompts her again. Suze wanders further into the forest. "Whenever you make a financial decision, ask yourself: "Is it kind, is it necessary, is it true?" WHAT? I'm trying to frame that advice in terms of a decision to buy an expensive new consumer product, and frankly, "kind" and "true" are not adjectives that factor into that decision. Oprah finally gives up and wraps the show by offering up a website (NOT associated with Orman) for viewers to go to and find out how to perform a financial checkup.

And there you have it. This couple has been belittled on national TV, and they are walking away without any kind of plan to get themselves out of trouble. Was it worth it just to sit on Oprah's soundstage for 15 minutes? This is why I can't stand daytime TV.